Perspective

I think that we all struggle at times with perspective.  There are times that I struggle with perspective more than at other times.  I find that it is usually at my lowest points that I struggle with my perspective.  When I am on a higher point, I don't struggle with it as much.
Thanksgiving was a low point in dealing with perspective.  I was upset that I wasn't with my sister for that holiday.  I was upset that I wasn't with my nieces and grandpa.  I was very thankful that my friend's parents had opened their house to me and allowed me to spend that time with them.  I so very appreciated it.  I regret that I may have some across as ungrateful or rude.  It was never my intention to come across that way.  My perspective was off and having a skewed perspective that day, caused my Thanksgiving to not be what it could have been.   That is on me.
I was recently struggling with this very concept.  I was very unhappy with how some things were going in my life.  I get very frustrated with the fact that I don't have an apartment of my own right now and that I'm not making the money that I need to be making even though I'm working three jobs right now.  It is very discouraging.  I look at other people and see that things are going (as it appears on the outside, to me) so great and that things are working out just in their favor.  I ache to have things work out in my favor.  For things to for once go in my direction.  However, to me, things just don't seem to be going that way.  I wonder what is wrong with me?  The things I am wanting are not horrible.  I'm not asking for thousands of dollars, just what I need to get by.  I feel as though I'm killing myself and not getting ahead of the eight ball so to speak.  Feeling this does not make me want to stop working in anyway.  I keep working because I know at some point, it will work out.  I think at times I wish it would work out more like I think it should.
I didn't want that to happen at Christmas.  I didn't want my Christmas to turn out that way.  I was seeing other people be taken care of in ways that I've so sought in my life.  I kept thinking, "Why doesn't that happen to me?" "What have I done that I can't be taken care of that way?"  Got did take care of me though.  In smaller ways though.  I haven't gone without the money that I needed.  I've been able to get just about everything done that I needed to or wanted to get done.  I've even been able to sleep pretty well the last couple of nights.  (for this, I am extraordinarily grateful)  I realized as well, that while I wasn't with my biological family during the holidays, I was with my non biological family.  I was with people that loved me and cared for me and wanted me around not because I could do something for them, but because they genuinely wanted me around.
I realized that my focus was wrong.  I was focusing on what was wrong, what I didn't have, what I wanted to have, and how I thought things should be.  I strive very hard to keep my focus centered the correct way.  I strive to make sure that I was in the present moment, not in the past or looking too far into the future.  Because of this, I had a much better Christmas than Thanksgiving.  I am so grateful that my best friend does not allow me to wallow in my pity party too long.  He listens to what I say and doesn't disqualify it, but he also makes me see the correct point of view.  Sometimes he does this without realizing that he does this. 
There is a verse in the New Testament of the Bible where Paul (I believe) talks about being content when he abounds and is abased.  I thought I had a decent grasp on that verse, but I am realizing that through all of this, I really don't.  Paul was jailed numerous times.  He was persecuted and ridiculed so many times.  He still could write that through all of this and despite all of this, he could still be happy when he had what he needed and when he was lacking.  I can only hope that one day I am to that point.  I want to be able to one day say that I am content with what I have, whether its what I think I need or not.
I am in no way saying that I am above anyone dealing with this issue or any other, just that I see where I am lacking right now and want to fix it, as much as I can.  There are so many areas of my life that are lacking or need improvement.  I speak all of this in humility and in love.  I am in no way perfect and through all of this, I believe that will probably become more and more evident.  But, I hope that at some point, you will be able to check your perspective and to really genuinely see what needs to be corrected in your life and to purposefully seek to repair those areas.  It won't be easy, but I firmly believe that it will be very profitable for you and I both as we seek to repair our hearts and lives and to live mentally healthy for the res of our lives.